If you’re in Atlanta, you’ve seen it: that yellow dust is back in the streets. My allergies are currently reminding me that nature is very much alive, even as the temperature swings from a beautiful, warm spring back down to the 30s. But inside these walls, where I will stay until the weather figures herself out, things are heating up for a different reason.
We have officially wrapped our journey through Sobonfu Somé’s The Spirit of Intimacy. This second reading has left me feeling vibrant and reflective, as it did on my initial experience with it, but with a new lens. One that is less about the individual and more about the communal.
The Threshold of the Two Worlds
In the Dagara tradition, there isn’t a word for gay or lesbian in the way we use them in the West. Instead, there is The Gatekeeper.
Gatekeepers are those who stand at the threshold between the genders and between the physical and spiritual realms. They are the mediators. According to Somé, if men and women are in conflict, the gatekeepers are the ones who bring peace, not by taking sides, but by acting as a “sword of truth and integrity.”
This concept feels incredibly expansive to me. In Dagara cosmology, there are two types of gatekeepers:
Those who guard specific elemental gates (Fire, Earth, Water, etc.).
Those who oversee all the gates, maintaining one foot in this world and one in the other.
As someone within the LGBTQIA+ community, hearing that we are seen as essential spiritual infrastructure, as the ones who open the doors that others cannot, is a powerful reclamation of purpose.
A Little Pushback
I have to be honest with you all: I struggled with some of the text in Chapter 13. Somé mentions that in the village, gatekeepers “do not marry in this world” because they have partners in other dimensions.
This made me think of our Egbe (heavenly mates) in Ifá practice—the idea that sometimes we have a spiritual partner tied to us that can sometimes cause friction with our earthly relationships. But the idea that gatekeepers cannot or should not marry here? That didn’t sit right in my body.
I believe our spiritual gifts and our desire for earthly partnership can and should coexist. Two gatekeepers coming together only makes the gift given to the community richer. Why wouldn’t we want to combine those insights? I’m still mulling this over, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Is the work of being a gatekeeper so laborious that it precludes marriage, or is that a cultural boundary I’m simply not meant to agree with?
A Note on The Pace That Keeps You
As we say Barka (Thank You) to this book, I’m also saying thank you to a certain pace of life.
I recently saw a quote by a creator named Jhéanell that stopped me in my tracks: “A slow life doesn’t mean a less ambitious one. It means you looked up one day and decided the pace you were keeping wasn’t keeping you.”
For the last year, I’ve been showing up here with three essays a week. I’ve loved it. But my library is screaming for me. My spirit wants to dig deeper, to research more, and to print out those dissertations that make me swoon. To give you richer, more insightful content, I have to step back.
Here is the new rhythm for The Archive:
Wednesdays: One deep-dive essay per week. We’re leaning into a Princess Diaries, “On Wednesdays, we wear pink” kind of vibe. This will be the home for my research on Womanist theory, sexuality, and Afro-diasporic divinity.
Fridays: The podcast remains! You’ll get your weekly audio dose, though it may be accompanied by a shorter overview rather than a full essay.
What’s Next for the Book Club?
We aren’t stopping. I’ll be sending out a poll soon to choose our next read. One strong contender? bell hooks’ All About Love. I started it two years ago, and she said something that challenged me so much that I had to put it down, but it’s never left my mind to finish.
Thank you for journeying through The Spirit of Intimacy with me. Thank you for the likes, comments, downloads, and shares. Thank you for giving me, giving us room to learn, expand, and connect.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, my stomach is growling, and there is a cat plate of seasoned sardines and crackers with my name on it.
I’m curious, when you think about your own role in your village, do you feel like a Gatekeeper?
If you found this insightful or enjoyable, make sure to like or restack. Your support keeps me going!
